Monday, May 7, 2018

Zombie Flash Fiction - Rhonda's Ride

     Rhonda loved her new car.  It had everything she ever wanted in a car:  leather seats, a kickin' stereo, a back up camera, phone connectivity, internet radio, and all kinds of safety features.  The car could practically drive itself.  It was smart!  But, today, Rhonda was getting a little worried about the news.  S*&t was getting real!  People got some freaky ass disease and were running around biting people.  Today, Rhonda just wanted to drive straight home.  Of course, she had to go through the old Cumberland Village to get there.  Bumper-to-Bumper:  as always!

Photo By Niels de Wit from Lunteren, The Netherlands [CC BY 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
      Last week, the sorry ass DJ's on the car radio were laughing it up.
     "There's no such thing as zombies!" they said.
     "Watch out for Frankenstein," they laughed.
   
      They were saying something different today.  Their asses were on the radio beggin' for someone to please bring them some food.
     "Oh, I have food," Rhonda yelled at the radio.  "I have food for my children!"
     "I just have to get it home," she muttered to herself.

     Rhonda looked to her right and some dude was biting an old lady in the neck.  She looked to her left, at the oncoming traffic, just in time to see a redneck dude plow his pickup right into the back of a stopped car--kaabam!  Airbag deployment and everything.  Everybody was looking at the carnage surrounding them.  Everybody was in shock.  But, Rhonda didn't have time for that kind of mess.  She had to get the groceries home and lock up tight.  The kids weren't going anywhere!

     The noise of the collision seemed to bring all the crazy biter bastards out.  They were everywhere.  The car in front of her hit the gas and opened up a gap in the traffic.  But, the biters just walked right into the road and filled the gap in.  There were dozens of them.  Rhonda had to get through zombies or no zombies.  She saw a spot on the sidewalk and punched the accelerator.  If the biters wouldn't get out of the way, she would just run their asses down.

     Suddenly, a big red light lit up on her dashboard and the car came to a halt just six inches from a couple of the monstrous pedestrians.  She punched the gas and car wouldn't move.  She slammed it into reverse, the backup camera came on revealing more dead pedestrians.  The car lurched backwards and came to a half after moving all of two feet.  The red light on the dash warned her again.  The car revved and went no where.  The car would not be used as a weapon.  It would not run down pedestrians.

     "Oh no," Rhonda cried.  "This ride is too damn smart!"










Friday, April 20, 2018

A Zombie Complex Theme Song? Perhaps Alan Jackson style!

If you've ever heard Alan Jackson's song Chattahoochee, you know it is a fun and catchy country tune.  Here's the video for it.


Since Zombie Complex recounts The Battle for Chattahoochee Run, fictional apartments near Atlanta, it's natural that I would write a zombie version of the Chattahoochee lyrics.  With apologies to songwriters Jim McBride and Alan Jackson, here's my Zombie version of the song:

Way up yonder near the Chattahoochee 
Got surrounded by zombies with our poochie
We only got the neighbors to help us fight
Now all of us hope they can shoot alright

The dead have risen to storm our gate
and have our brains on their dinner plate
I grabbed my hatchet and I grabbed my gun
and I hoped my neighbors would all bring one

Yeah way up yonder near the Chattahoochee
Never knew how much that bloody complex meant to me
But I learned how to fight and I learned who I was
A lot about livin' and a little 'bout dying

Ye ha!
We should packed our bags in left in a Chevy
But, with no place to go, Atlanta traffic was heavy 
So we hunkered down and tried to be ready
With the help of our neighbors we weren't alone

Together all just yearned for higher walls of stone
Down by the gate real late at night
We only got the neighbors to help us fight
Now all of us hope they can shoot alright

The dead have risen to storm our gate

Yeah way up yonder near the Chattahoochee
Never knew how much that bloody complex meant to me
But I learned how to fight and I learned who I was
A lot about livin' and a little 'bout dying

Yeah, way up yonder near the Chattahoochee
Never knew how much that bloody complex meant to me
But I learned how to fight and I learned who I was
A lot about livin' and a little 'bout dying

Ye ha!
That's right . . .


Thursday, March 29, 2018

Darn Real World

I have a long list of writing ideas that are spinning about in my head.  They need to escape onto paper and into books, novellas, and short stories.  Unfortunately, my real world employer has eliminated my department and my job.  While I have a couple of months to go and a bit of severance after that, but I do need to focus my energies on finding a job.  Unless something materializes in the next couple of weeks, it will likely be slow going before I can release another bit of fiction.  But, the stories keep on happening in my brain and they will eventually escape!


[Update 4/20 - I landed a new position so that stories can go on!]


Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Coffee Review: Black Rifle AK-47 Espresso Coffee

I was really dragging this afternoon.  I felt like a zombie instead of a writer.  There was only one thing to do.  I took a coffee break.  Fortunately, my order of a Black Rifle AK-47 Espresso Coffee arrived this afternoon.  I figured I'd try a manly man brand of coffee so I ordered a box of 12 coffee rounds (K-Cups) for our Keurig.

Packaging

My coffee rounds came in a nifty box designed to outwardly resemble an ammunition can.  While there is only so much you can do within the confines of a small box of K-cups, it did look pretty cool and makes a great addition to our pantry.


AK47 Coffee Taste

I'm not a coffee sophisticate.  We're pretty new to the world of the Keurig and the K-Cup.  But, this coffee had a good flavor and was pretty smooth.  I prefer my coffee over ice and I'd say the coffee was of medium strength and delivered a bit of afternoon pep.  It's right in there strength-wise with other medium roast coffees that I have tried.  It's not super strong like the Sumatran coffee I've tried and it doesn't have a nasty after taste like some fancy coffee shop coffees.


As a rifle the AK-47 is respected for its strength and simplicity.  It's straight forward and easy to understand.  As a coffee, Black Rifle AK47 Espresso is simple and tasty.  There's no fuss, no muss, and no exotic notes to decipher.  


Overall Black Rifle Coffee Review

Overall, I liked this coffee, the novelty of its packaging, its taste, and the manly image of the brand.  I think it is important to note that Black Rifle Coffee is veteran owned, hires veterans, and donates some of its profits to help veterans in need.  As an unabashedly conservative company, they support the Second Amendment, they Back the Blue, and they are patriotic.  I look forward to trying some of their other coffees in the future.


 
 

 

Thursday, March 15, 2018

Upcoming Zombie Fiction

There is nothing more relaxing than shooting Granddad's old single shot  .22 rifle--unless there are hordes of zombies coming your way.  Then, you can't shoot fast enough.

A vintage Ranger .22 Single-Shot Rifle
The heroine of my next adventure in the dystopian world of Zombie Complex will have to do her best with the rifle she's given.  She has the aptitude.  But, it won't be easy to survive.  She'll have an ancient but accurate Ranger single-shot .22 rifle.  On a recent trip to the range, I was able to fire 10 shots fairly accurate shots with it in 1 minute and 53 seconds.  However, my target was only 75 feet away and even shuffling dead people can cover a lot of ground in 11 seconds.  Will our young heroine be fast enough?

Sunday, March 11, 2018

Free Zombie Short Story: Dog Walk of the Apocalypse

My Zombie short story "Dog Walk of the Apocalypse" is free for Kindle through Wednesday, March 14, 2018.  You can get it for Amazon Kindle.  Today, it hit Number 1 for free Science Fiction and Fantasy Short Reads.  It also hit #6 for free Literature and Fiction short reads.

It's just a short story and will only take about fifteen minutes to read, but I hope you enjoy it.  When the promotional period is over the story will continue to be available for 99 cents on Kindle or for Free on Kindle Unlimited!

Friday, March 9, 2018

Book Reviews for Zombie Complex

When readers take the time to put in a good word for Zombie Complex.  It means a lot.  As an independently published novel, there is no big publishing house to crank out publicity or fund a book tour or do any of the myriad things that go into creating a best seller.  As a newcomer to publishing, every possible award seems like a potential scam. The only judgment I can rely on is the judgment of actual readers who liked the book.  I've tweeted about this before, but every good review seems like an Academy Award.  It is a stamp of approval and a green light to keep on writing.

Photo By The Conmunity - Pop Culture Geek from Los Angeles, CA, USA [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

As an Indie Author, I have to rely on clever twitter posts, word of mouth, and most of all good reviews from actual readers.  Fortunately, good book reviews for Zombie Complex keep rolling in.  Here are the first three reviews for this zombie novel:



If you read Zombie Complex, I really would appreciate your putting in a good word.  It helps.

Zombie Flash Fiction - Rhonda's Ride

     Rhonda loved her new car.  It had everything she ever wanted in a car:  leather seats, a kickin' stereo, a back up camera, phone co...